I’ve found that I ask myself this question more times than I’d like to admit. Everyone has their own past, their own experiences and their own things that we try to avoid because we are scared. Have you ever taken the time to ask yourself what it is that you are scared of? And taking it one level further, is it actually worth your time and energy to be scared? Is <insert your fear here> (mine being getting hurt, maintaining control to avoid any bad things happening to me) actually real?
Is it possible or plausible?
Is there any evidence to support my feelings?
If you’ve ever suffered from anxiety or depression, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. The downward spiral can begin so quickly, and can escalate out of control even quicker.
When I was in my early 20’s, I went through a horrible ordeal with an ex boyfriend. There was a ton of abuse involved, and it’s definitely a fear that I now carry with me in some form or another. (My mom told me last night, after going through a rough patch with my current partner, that it almost seems like I’m self sabotaging.) It’ll vary for everyone who has been through this kind of situation, but mine manifested in a crazy elaborate imagination. In 30 seconds or less, I can think of a terrible situation that could happen, whether it be to my family, my friends, or to myself. Within those 30 seconds, I change from the bubbly, happy person that I am, into a withdrawn, emotional wreck. I could break up with my boyfriend, quit my job, and move to another province or country if the resources were available to me. And what I fail to do every time I feel this way is ask myself “Is this real? Is this possible that any of these things could happen?”
What are your tools to fight off these feelings? Mine include yoga, both the physical practice and the mental practice; a close support network, where no one will look at me like I’m crazy; your family, friends, community… etc.
Sadly, we don’t have an on and off switch for our feelings, but we do have the tools to de-code and decipher and help us work through the anxieties. Know that you are never alone, know that the person or group you chose to confide in can help see the reality, and help bring you back to it.
– Liz Bauer