I just want to begin with, I consistently post…every six months. However, this time I am not prepared to make some grandiose statement about how I am going to re-commit to posting regularly. The truth of the matter is I am extremely busy, period. Most days I am struggling with making sure my 6 year old has all of his homework completed, uniform washed and lunch + joke of the day ready to be scooped up in the morning. And yes, of course I put little notes in my son’s lunch box every day…the only problem is now the entire class has come to expect a daily joke. Does my life sound familiar? I’m sure it does, because we are all leading these extremely hectic, chaotic lives that having us running non stop. I should do some yoga and slow down, says the studio owner and ironically enough that has made the biggest shift in my life since coming back from Kenya this summer. I have begun meditating every day. Do I miss a day? Of course! Do I struggle with being still? Absolutely! Kinndli and I are working on grounding down to show up fully in our day to day lives and for me, it is working.
Meditation, being still has allowed me to be less reactive and less judgemental of myself. Failures happen all the time to me. It could be something as big as leaving my marriage or as small as missing a meeting. How we handle the failure, what we make it mean, is where we find our true self. The only moment we have is the one we are in, and it’s already gone! I have spent countless hours worrying about my failures. Judging myself and making myself and others wrong. It has been exhausting and I am over feeling bad and setting unrealistic expectations. The last 6 months has been yet another amazing journey filled with many breakdowns, many failures and many things to re-commit to. These days I choose to see everything and to really see the positive in all of the ups and downs. Every single bump in the road has lead me to where my feet are today, and although I am still not done cleaning up the mess I have made of my life, I am happy to report that I have at least picked up the mop…and am holding it as I sit on my meditation pillow 🙂
Nice blog Pauline 🙂
“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” – Edwin Louis Cole
Thank you Pauline-exactly what I needed to hear xoxo love to you
Hey Kiddo…I love reading your thoughts. Please try to write more. Oh…and speaking of failures…I’m in the 3rd week of 40 days right now, have missed one meeting and have gone to yoga maybe 5 times since it stared two weeks ago. Oops! Failure is such a harsh word. I like…”near miss” or “almost” or “whatever!” I think we should ban the word entirely from the English language. It’s far too judgmental.
Love you no matter what’s going on in your life…
Failure is only a harsh word if you allow it to be one. Without failure there would be no success and the people who don’t ever fail (no one, anyone tells you they haven’t failed they lie) don’t appreciate success and accomplishments. I’m doing a 40 day challenge down here in Melbourne and haven’t meditated in the traditional sense and didn’t do a fruit cleanse (mainly because of the lack of support which I had last time isn’t here) but I don’t consider it a failure.
Heroes (real heroes not what the media calls heroes) often fail.
I remember a quote from CSI (random) wher Grissom says to someone else. “I’m wrong all the time, its how I get to right.”