I just want to begin with, I consistently post…every six months. However, this time I am not prepared to make some grandiose statement about how I am going to re-commit to posting regularly. The truth of the matter is I am extremely busy, period. Most days I am struggling with making sure my 6 year old has all of his homework completed, uniform washed and lunch + joke of the day ready to be scooped up in the morning. And yes, of course I put little notes in my son’s lunch box every day…the only problem is now the entire class has come to expect a daily joke. Does my life sound familiar? I’m sure it does, because we are all leading these extremely hectic, chaotic lives that having us running non stop. I should do some yoga and slow down, says the studio owner and ironically enough that has made the biggest shift in my life since coming back from Kenya this summer. I have begun meditating every day. Do I miss a day? Of course! Do I struggle with being still? Absolutely! Kinndli and I are working on grounding down to show up fully in our day to day lives and for me, it is working.
Meditation, being still has allowed me to be less reactive and less judgemental of myself. Failures happen all the time to me. It could be something as big as leaving my marriage or as small as missing a meeting. How we handle the failure, what we make it mean, is where we find our true self. The only moment we have is the one we are in, and it’s already gone! I have spent countless hours worrying about my failures. Judging myself and making myself and others wrong. It has been exhausting and I am over feeling bad and setting unrealistic expectations. The last 6 months has been yet another amazing journey filled with many breakdowns, many failures and many things to re-commit to. These days I choose to see everything and to really see the positive in all of the ups and downs. Every single bump in the road has lead me to where my feet are today, and although I am still not done cleaning up the mess I have made of my life, I am happy to report that I have at least picked up the mop…and am holding it as I sit on my meditation pillow 🙂