There have been moments in my life (far too many moments to count) where I have chosen the idea of perfection, the “it’d better be perfect or I’m not going to do it at all” kind of attitude. As I reflect on my first week of 40 Days meditation I have to ask myself what a ‘perfect’ meditation means to me….
….I’m sitting in an empty, open air room with the sound of the sea nearby, I am wearing beautiful loose fitting clothes (of the Julia Roberts’ Eat, Pray, Love variety), with Kirtan playing softly in the background, my body is comfortable with stillness, my mind is at ease with silence and every now and then a sea breeze softly touches my cheek…..
But this is what any given day of meditation is really like…
….I’m sitting anywhere in my house that allows me to sit comfortably on the ground, I am likely in my flannel pjs or housecoat because it’s -15 outside, no Kirtan but likely the hum of an NHL game on the background of the next room, my back hurts and is screaming at me while my foot falls asleep, my mind is trying (and it’s trying hard) to create the next thing that needs to be done and every now and then a cat saunters along and head butts me to remind me that it’s still there…..
Ahhhhh, blissful ‘real life’ meditation. The kind that challenges and aggravates me but will, given the opportunity, set me free from the shackles of wanting to look good, needing to look like I have everything together and wanting (and needing) everything to perfect, including myself.
My meditation practice may not be a perfect practice but it’s mine and I will keep sitting down, in silence, to take it on one minute and one breath at a time. Today I recommit to myself, and to my meditation practice, and to the possibility of being blissfully imperfect and being perfectly okay with it!