If you read last week’s blog then you already know that I find meditation challenging. The simple idea of sitting with myself was often times scary, difficult and ultimately a boring activity for me to anticipate. I realized that I had created a massive block between me and the world of stillness.
As we moved through Week 2 with a focus on Vitality I got to thinking about my meditation practice (or lack thereof…yes, I continued to resist into the beginning of Week 2…) and reminded myself gently that my asana practice is a form of meditation; a moving meditation. Now I am not saying that this replaces the benefits of a seated, silent and still meditation but it was something that I had to realize was an accomplishment. I CAN meditate (the proof is in the asana pudding) but I had chosen not to, chosen to make it difficult and chosen to create a HUGE story around it. There was no ‘I don’t know how’, ‘I’m not good at it’ or any more excuses – I just needed to do it. And so I did.
So I am back on the meditation pillow (note: this is just a pillow from the couch;)) and as I type I remember…
I credit the positive changes in my life to the moments where I have taken the time to meditate. Taken the time to sit still and get clear about what I am doing with myself, where I want to go and what I want to accomplish. It’s no coincidence that I had huge shifts in my life once I graduated my PYC teacher training – I was meditating regularly. I should add that I am not sitting and pondering these things with a conscious mind but I find that when I take the time to sit and really empty, I get really clear in most everything I do.
By resisting my meditation practice what I was really telling myself was that I was undeserving of it and that is just not true. I acknowledge this lie and move forward with the power to hurry up and sit still